The Incomplete List of the Seven Wonders of Hyderabad according to a Non-Hyderabadi

Dec 20, 2011 by Divya Nambiar

Divya Nambiar: Self -obsessed. Spaced-out. Grammar-Nazi. Ph.D. in sarcasm. Champion texter. Here she tackles Hyderabad with her characteristic wit and sarcasm.

 A popular national newspaper has this campaign that they run every year- The seven wonders of Hyderabad. The city people are asked to sms the structure or place that they feel is a wonder in Hyderabad.

Being a non-Hyderbadi, it took me some time to get accustomed to this crowded city where people eat Biryani all the time and speak weird Hindi. It took me a long time, but now I love the city. And having lived here for four-and-a-half years now, I can say that it’s not just places that qualify here as a ‘wonder’. There are a few other things too. So here are ‘The Wonders of Hyderabad, according to a non-Hyderabadi”.

 1) Biryani

You know, people not from Hyderabad often ask me “What’s the big deal about the biryani? We had it and didn’t like it much”. Well, that’s because you can’t come to Hyderabad, spend just a day or two here, and expect to find the best biryani. It takes time and loads of experimentation to find that perfect plate. It has taken me four years, but by now, I somewhat know where I’ll find the yummiest biryani. My friends and I are still researching on it. No, it’s not in one of those posh restaurants that have won many awards. It’s not in that branches-all-over-the-country hotel either. It’s in those small little restaurants that barely have a name-plate outside. That doesn’t have the cleanest of table-cloth. That don’t have cute-looking waiters in crisp white uniforms (Well, actually, that’s not true. Some of those old city guys are quite good-looking (Must be the Nizam blood). But they do have biryani so delicious, you won’t care whether you’re putting on weight. All you care is how everything seems right with the world when that morsel goes into your mouth. But yes, a word of caution- it’s not for the sensitive stomachs.

And here in Hyderabad, the most delicious Biryani is not the most expensive. That taste has to be proportional to cost is a myth in this case.

2) Haleem

Wikipedia describes Haleem as “a thick Arabic, Persian, Turkish, and Indian cuisine dish…made of wheat, barley, meat (usually beef or mutton, but sometimes chicken or minced meat), lentils and spices. This dish is slow cooked for seven to eight hours, which results in a paste-like consistency, blending the flavors of spices, meat, barley and wheat.”

I would simply describe it as that heavenly dish that causes me to put on at least 2 kilos during Ramzan. When it comes to Haleem, there isn’t a grey area-you either love it or you hate it. The first time I tasted the gooey, paste-like dish that everyone was raving about, I almost gagged. I simply could not understand how people were gorging on it, bowl after bowl. I stayed away from it for a long time. Then one Ramzan, I decided to give it a shot again, because frankly, the fragrance is very tempting. I took a spoonful. I did not gag. Instead of the texture, I started concentrating on the flavours. And that’s when I GOT it. There has been no looking back ever since. I think now, I look forward to Ramzan more than the muslims do, because Haleem is available only during that time.

And here’s what makes Haleem a real wonder of Hyderabad- in India, it’s available only in Hyderabad. It packaged and shipped to the rest of the country (and world) from here. Yup, our Haleem is quite the globe-trotter!

3) Hyderabadi

No, I don’t mean a person who belongs to Hyderabad. I mean the language that is a peculiar mix of Urdu and Hindi. Outsiders call it “that horrible slang of Hindi”. But here’s the thing- no matter how much you may hate it, if you listen to it for more than a week, it’s sure to catch on. You would start speaking it even without realising it. And before you know it, you will be saying “Kya yaaron, aisa kaayku karre?” “Main car-a mein jaara” “Kya tho bhi hai yaaron”, “Kya hona?” etc. The abuses are very amusing too. “Maa ki kirkiri” is the most popular one, closely followed by “Baigan ki!”. The former does not in any way demoralize your mother, and the latter has got nothing to do with brinjal. They’re just expressions that no one really knows the origin of.

To get the real essence of Hyderabadi Hindi, watch ‘The Angrez’. You’ll understand why I call it a wonder.

4) Disco Autos

Is it an auto? Is it a mobile music system?

It’s the Disco Auto!

I’m not quite sure if it’s just a Hyderabadi phenomenon, but this city is filled with them. Red-green-blue-orange neon flashing lights, loud Himesh Reshammiya songs blaring from the sound system that is mysteriously hidden away somewhere underground, trendy haircut-waale auto bhaiyyas, posters of Salman Bhai, etc. You can hear them coming from a kilometer away. If you feel mild tremors while in Hyderabad, do not panic. It is probably a disco auto approaching. And somehow they manage to pick out the worst of Telugu and Hindi songs to play. And don’t even bother asking them to shut it off. They won’t. I think their body is tuned to the songs. If the songs don’t play, they probably can’t drive.

Along with the Disco autos, share autos are also a phenomenon. They’ll screech to a halt in front of you, and then expect you to ‘adjust’ in a space that already has some ten people in it. Yes, I have seen the small regular autos with 8 people in it- 3 at the back, 5, in the front, including the driver. They’re crazy and dangerous. But sometimes, you have no choice but to take the share-autos because the regular auto-walas are under the impression that your father is Bill Gates. You know that apparatus that is fixed in an auto, that flashes digits in bright red light? It’s called a meter. But as far as the auto-walas here are concerned, it is a piece of antique that has to be preserved. So they don’t use it at all. They will charge more than double of the fare and behave as though it is perfectly natural to fleece customers. A typical conversation between me and auto-drivers on a daily basis goes like this:-

Me: Bhaiyya Begumpet jaana hai.

Autowala: 60 rupees.

Me: Meter.

AW: Kitna dete?

Me: Meter.

AW: Kitna dete?

Me: Meter.

AW: Bolo madam, kitna dete?

You get the picture?

5) The Old city

Hyderabad is pretty much a metro. You have the usual malls, the coffee shops, the multiplexes, the MNC’s. But the pulse of the city lies in the streets of the old city. Be it the iconic Charminar or the controversial Mecca Masjid, you haven’t seen Hyderabad until you’ve seen the old city. This is one of the few cities I’ve seen where the old culture is still as vibrant as the new one. Built by the royal Nizams, each and every building there, most of which are in dilapidated condition, is an architectural wonder. If you listen carefully, it’ll tell you tales of the kings and queens who lived in them. Hyderabad is a city of palaces and museums- The Chowmahalla palace, Falaknuma Palace, Salar Jung Museum, to name a few. The Golconda Fort was the seat of the Qutb Shahi kingdom in the 15th century. There is literally nothing you can NOT find in the crowded streets of Charminar. The Old City is a meat-lover’s delight. And no matter how many expensive ice-cream parlours you have had ice-cream from, nothing can beat the exquisite fresh fruit ice-creams of Famous Ice Cream, which has been famous for centuries!

What according to you are the wonders of Hyderabad?

Photo Courtesy: Arun John